Flying Croissants, Popsicles and More

Weekend in review:

1.) A homeless man threw a croissant in my general direction. He was rummaging through a garbage bag full of day-old pastries and pitching the rejects into the street. Don't see that everyday! He had a good arm, the croissants were flying.

2.) Went to a crab feast in Maryland. Completely legit - pitchers of Bud Light, crabs in cardboard boxes on tables, and Old Bay everywhere.

4.) Went to the Eels concert and saw E, who is the coolest dude ever. He rocked out, then complained that the D.C. crowd wasn't rocking hard enough, then threw fistfuls of Popsicles into the crowd during his set. Flying food seemed to be a theme this weekend...

The opening act included a "rock and roll ventriloquist."

"He simply had a fascination with buses"

This happened awhile ago, but I was just thinking about how ridiculous this story is -

A 19-year-old dressed as a D.C. bus driver, right down to the socks, stole a bus, drove it along the proper route while making all the stops, then promptly crashed the bus into a tree.

Apparently he was quite courteous, which should've been enough to alert passengers to the fact that something was amiss.

Rules to D.C. Dating According to the Post's Date Lab

My friend Autumn and I love to read and analyze the Post Magazine's Date Lab. She sent me an email with some rules of dating in D.C. that she gleaned from reading Date Lab columns, and they were so funny and spot on. I asked Autumn if I could post her rules here and she graciously agreed, so without further ado, here they are:
  1. Always present yourself as super-happy, care-free and lacking any psychiatric diagnoses.
  2. Have a minimum of 15 interests (Two of which MUST be travel and exercise).
  3. Act very picky/judgmental (you MUST have a type and decide within the first 3 minutes whether your date matches your type).
  4. No matter the circumstances, do NOT let the first question you ask be "so, what do you do for a living?" (even though you really, really, REALLY want to know).
  5. Do NOT talk politics but do drop enough hints to make it clear you're on the same "side."
I will add that based on Date Lab's pool of daters, if you really want to get in the game, you better speak three languages with varying degrees of fluency, have taught for a few years in Asia or spent a summer surfing in Mallorca or something.

Fun with Signs - America Edition

Signs seen around D.C.

(In the Whole Foods parking garage at Tenleytown). Any pedestrians in this area will be summarily hit in the head with the gate arm.

(Somewhere around 6th and E). This sign says "Please Don't Kick the Wall." Is this a major problem, people kicking that particular wall? Come to think of it, when I saw that sign I had a peculiar urge to give the wall a kick.

This was advertising a special movie event at E Street Cinema where you could bring your baby to watch the film "Babies," a documentary film about babies. So there are babies crying on screen and in the theater. No thank you. Talk about an echo chamber!

When I came back to unlock my bike one day in Dupont Circle, I found a flier nestled in my helmet advertising the D.C. Seersucker Ride. Now that's targeted advertising. Speaking of helmets, my friend asked me if I was worried leaving my helmet locked up with my bike on the street. "No, why should I?" I said. "I dunno... You're not worried someone might pee in it or something?" she said. This thought never ever would have occurred to me in a million years. Why would someone do such a thing? Am I so naive? Are we really living in a helmet-peeing-on world?

When I first stared at this on an early morning bus ride, I thought, hmm I wonder why they picked a lady with a mustache to be the face of the ATU Local 689? There weren't any female bus drivers without mustaches who wanted to model? But couldn't she have waxed her mustache on the day of the photoshoot?

Oh. Someone drew that on the poster. Ah, yes.

In that spirit, I added a couple words to this poster with Mac Paintbrush. Can you guess which ones?